I think I am morally bankrupt
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
