did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
