fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
