A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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