Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
