I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
