you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
