omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
