Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
