we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize