you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize