Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
