That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
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