This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
