Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
