you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize