Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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