I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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