The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
