I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
