He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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