You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
