If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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