A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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