hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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