just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
