just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
