Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize