To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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