my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
