Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
