Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
