ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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