tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
