I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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