OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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