So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
