hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
