I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
