and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
