is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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