what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
