Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
