ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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