Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My vagina just clenched in fear
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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