I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
