Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
