I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
