There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize