I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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