I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The uberlube is also flammable
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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