the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
