Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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