I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
