Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
