sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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