I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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