If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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