We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
