I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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