I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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