I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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