My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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