I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
