Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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