i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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