Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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