Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize