My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
