Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Life without a bra equals bliss.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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