She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
