Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
